Everyone has little mind fantasies from time to time, either it be “I wonder what would happen if I take a shit on that cops shoe”, or “I wonder how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.” My little joy is to think about what I would say if I won the lottery. I’m not talking years into it, i’m talking about the little press interview they do for all the winners. Ah what I joyful feeling that would be, standing in front of 10 news cameras as they introduce me as the sole winner of $500 million dollar State Lotto. Of course being a winner of that large amount they would want some kind of statement from me, like if I will donate it to charity(yeah, the charity to buy me a new Dodge Viper!) or buy a house or whatever. I thought this over long and hard, it may not be original, but still is funny.

I would of course come to the interview with fresh new gear. Some Armoni or whatever is trendy at the time, and of course you NEED the bling. Aside from the hotness that would be me, what I say would be the most important. When I would get to the mic, I would do some beatbox’in for 30 seconds or so before my speech…you know, just to inform them of my hotness. I would continue lookin fly then say this: “I would like to thank myself today for buying a ticket and winning so much freak cash. It isn’t Jesus or God or whatever else imaginary thing you believe in that won me this money, just me. I have a few things to say today, first off let me start with…I’M RICH, BITCH! Ah that feels good to say. This money will do me good, as I am going to spend it on me…that’s right, all of it! Fuck you charity people, if you want my money, you must earn it by suckin my balls! I’m gonna hook myself up with this money, houses everywhere, Dodge Vipers in every color there is, and hot ass women at my beckon call. But I have learned something today, being a multi-millionaire is sweet, cuz you have alot of money, and when you have money, you don’t have to hang out with any poor ass losers like you guys…screw you guys…i’m going home.”

Then I would walk off stage, get into my Hummer-Limo and go buy myself some porn.
Life is good inside my mind sometimes. Just don’t be a hater, you would do the same if you could.

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 29th, 2005 at 7:46 pm and is filed under Observations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.