BTW these aren’t mine.

Instructions for Life in the new millennium from the Dalai Lama:

1. Take into account that great love and great achievement involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, respect for others and responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go some place you’ve never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Your thoughts?

Perhaps you have some answers. Answers that are not acceptable: I don’t know, or google it.

• Question: Is there such a thing as Chinese morse code? How does it work?

• Question: Is all braille the same, or does Chinese use a different system?

• Question: Similar to the question above, how about sign language?

• Question: It is easy to tell someone in English how to spell something, you just tell them the letters. How does it work    in Chinese? If you didn’t have the chance to show them, do you just describe how the squiggly lines look?

These things need to be answered. Thank you.

Since I have been trouble finding shoes lately I have been turning to the web. The main problem with this is that you need a credit card to buy anything. Back when I lived in the US I didn’t have this problem since my bank issued me a Visa Debit Card. These cards are great since they have the same functionality of a credit card, but instead of borrowing money it takes it straight from your bank account.

About a year after I arrived in Taiwan, I opened a bank account at Chinatrust. I picked Chinatrust since their ATM machines are in all of the 7-11’s and those stores are everywhere. It made sense at the time, I didn’t want to have to pay a fee every time I took out money.

Now things are different and I need that visa debit card to make my online purchases. I knew Chinatrust offered the card so I headed out to get myself one.

We Are Family?

When I arrived at the bank I got my little ticket and waited in the waiting room for the next available agent. When it was my turn, I went and sat down and started to tell the employee about what I needed. When I was finished the employee just said “sorry”. I was confused and asked, why he was sorry. He told me that since I was a foreigner, that I couldn’t have a debit card. If I was a “local” then it would not be a problem. I told him that I didn’t want a credit card, I wanted a debit card. I knew I had to repeat myself, since unless you’re very clear on what you want, people will fuck up everything. Again he told me that since I was a foreigner that I wasn’t allow a debit card, even though the bank is in no risk of loss, since all purchases made from that card comes straight from your bank account and if you don’t have the cash, you will be rejected at purchase.

If I was applying for a credit card I would understand completely, but it’s a freakin debit card! I asked the man what other bank offered debit cards to foreigners and he didn’t know. He then suggested I go to other banks and ask. When he said this, I said “So you want me to take all my money from your bank and invest it somewhere else?” Well that made him realize he was an idiot for suggesting I go ask other banks.

I then said to him, “If you came to my country and asked for a debit card we wouldn’t deny you because the color of your skin”, I paused for effect then continued, “I think I’ll come back tomorrow and close my account and move my money to a bank that is interested in my money, fuck your bank!” I turned slowly and walked out.

I have heard that Taipei Fubon Bank or Megabank offers debit cards to foreigners, but haven’t had a chance to confirm this. I just think it’s retarded to deny people for a risk-free service that the bank provides to any legal age Taiwanese, but since I wasn’t born here I don’t matter. Does my money matter to you Chinatrust? Does my friends with their money waiting to be invested matter? Well I am not like you Chinatrust, I don’t care where you’re born, or what you can offer me, I have a present for you. It’s useful and I’m sure you will get many many hours of enjoyment out of it, while I take my money from you and go somewhere that appreciates it.

My Gift To You, Chinatrust

Now go fuck yourselves!

Based off a tip from my friend Brian, I took a trip over to Liuzhangli MRT Station to see a billboard for Taiwan’s Military. The billboard is located on the wall of the Taiwan Recruitment Center. He told me I had to see it for myself and call him as soon as I saw it. The trip was worth it. To best describe the billboard, I have to use the US military slogan “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”. Those familiar with this slogan will get the joke right away. For the rest of you, I’ll fill you in after the picture.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

The term “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” refers to a US military policy that prohibits: “anyone who “demonstrate(s) a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts” from serving in the armed forces of the United States, because it “would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability.” So basically if you’re gay, don’t tell them about it.

The picture above is wrong on so many levels. In the US, peoples idea of military men are that they are hard core and tough. Obviously from this picture, Taiwan is a little different. Normally military is used to strike fear into your opponents, but I doubt China would be scared after seeing this photo.

The billboard just emanates….how can I put it lightly…..gay. The main picture has 10 half naked men laying on top of each other forming a pyramid, one is making a cutesy face with his fingers pointed into his cheeks, while 3 others look like they are 4 year old girls taking a birthday photo. A Taiwanese person would say “Oh, no, no, they are just showing how happy they are, and how fun it is to be in the military!” I just want to know why they are smiling so much…

The lower left picture doesn’t help much either. The half naked guys are tied up, perhaps appealing to the fetish crowd?

Bondage?

The thing with Taiwan is that not only do the guys act feminine, but now the military does too. Where does the madness end?

After checking out this picture I walked around the building to the front entrance and saw an awesome statue in the window. Now I’m sure they didn’t do this intentionally, but take a look at the statue on the right and what is the first thing you think of? My answer after the picture, let’s see if we match.

He Looks Like The…

“Stay Puft Marshmallow Man” from the movie “Ghostbusters”.

Do you have anything to add? Let the world know in the comments.

Sunday was a busy day for me, but since it was also Mother’s Day I had to delay this post till now. I had 3 things to post about but I think I chose the best for the day. The other one is coming, but I put on the back burner as it isn’t important. The story below contains a couple of big pictures and a movie, so just give it a second to load up. Don’t worry it’s worth it.

(more…)

I’m no expert in marketing, but I’m fairly certain that the name of the product is very important. Without a good name, the product just won’t sell as well. I’m sure the best names are the ones that just stick out and grab your attention, which is a good thing, mostly. While I agree that the odder the name, the more likely I’ll remember it, but sometimes I feel they have crossed the line. If the name is catchy I’ll remember it and maybe use it, but if its sick or bizarre then it’s a good chance I’m staying far away.

Recently while shopping at Watsons (like a Walgreens), I came across a product that I will surely remember, but I’m not so sure I would use. Check out the pictures below and tell me if you would use this stuff.

Wash what off?

Scrub what?

Hold what?

Scrub it off!

I guess the products could be useful…